emotional human?

Pure emotions have always eluded me.

Always have they skirted cross my mind almost within my reach.

Never have they revealed themselves fully to me.

Always shrouded in doubt.

Always enacted, amplified with disdain to its meaning.

Always underplayed with the intention to reveal honesty.

Always shown to evoke a reaction.

 Only once have i seen true emotion.

That which death brings with it.

Not for the benefit of anyone.

Not for the sake of showing the world.

The strongest force on this earth.

Pure emotion.

Emotions have always eluded humans.

Humans with their enhanced capacity to think.

Our capacity to imagine.

Our capacity to understand the effect of emotions.

The fact that we know what effect an emotion can have undermines that we are capable of pure, real, unadulterated emotion.

We can never show emotion without thinking of what effect it would have on the other.

Emotion shown by people is a very filtered much accepted version of their emotion.

We are bound by the civic rules of the society.

We are bound by the laws of the society.

We are bound by our own sensibilities and morals.

We are bound, therefore, by our very own humanness.

the secret

There was a boy. A simple boy.

He was shy, insecure and unsure about himself.

He loved his parents.

And his parents loved him back.

But the world did not. he knew it . He felt it

He was a sensitive, loving and a straightforward boy.

Girls terrified him.

His parents had taught him well. He respected women.

He knew how to be around elder people.

But what should he do when he was people his own age?

He wanted people to like him.

He wanted people to want to be his friend.

He wanted to have a good impression on the girls.

But he was an ordinary looking boy.

He was not rich.

He felt bad about it. If only his parents had worked harder.

He hated that he felt this way.

He was apprehensive of this world.

He was terrified 

Terrified that the world would know how sensitive he was and once they knew they would crush him.

So he kept it a secret.

He was good at keeping secrets.

He told the world he was strong, confident boy and able to do anything asked of him.

Because thats what the world wanted.

The world accepted him this way.

The world treated him with respect.

The world expected things of him which he delivered.

He put up a good show.

He was sharp at reading people.

He needed to be.

He was constantly waging a war with his inner self.

He fought with it. He kept him down.

He suppressed himself.

He had adjusted to the world well.

However the world around him was changing faster than he could adjust.

The world was more open.

The world was more forward.

Girls and boys his own age were doing the regrettable.

He was shocked to the core.

This had shook his morals.

What kind of world was he living in, he thought.

He did not know how to react.

The world expected him to be ok with it.

The world expected him to be ok with everything.

The world wanted him to not show what he truly felt.

He could feel but not show as the world did not want it. Did not need it.

This constant turmoil was taking its toll.

He had to fast adjust.

Or the world would know.

He could not , could not let that happen.

So he adjusted. He was ok with it.

Not for the world but for himself.

For his secret.

Dearer to him than his life.

power of one

what is, but a year,
a tiny spec on the great distance of time ?
what is a human you ask,
a tinier spec in the universe would be tougher to find.

comparing the incomparable
perspective incomplete,
ask a man about the stranger who helped him,
if you want truth complete.

he would tell you, in great detail,
his smell and his touch
i dare you then
to call a human insignificant much.

insignificance can disarm,
it takes your will
never feel it in your life
for it will surely kill.

the power of one
can shock and surprise,
the power of one
can bring a new sunrise.

the drive, the force,
the will , the belief,
the power of one, dont forget ,
are the ones that provide relief.

words

Such a simple concept...but to master so tough...

so powerful yet so useless...

sometimes so many, sometimes not enough...

shows you so many ways  

words matter, sometimes they don’t

words express, sometimes they wont

they can make you smile they can make you cry ,

they can make you wish you’d rather die

words will fail you

words will abandon you

but almost always

words will come back to you ,

you can praise , you can compliment,

you can degrade, you can elate ,

you can complain , you can lament ,

you can ask, you can lie.

Words empower you , words weaken you,

Words hide you , words give you away,

Words tell all and it doesn’t matter

In which language you say.

words are a thing of beauty,

a long time they have been around, 

but the real beauty is that they leave both 

the writer and the reader spellbound

death

it was 4 am. the 9 year old boy was awake. the phone had rung. everything was crazy. he dint understand what was goin on. something about hi father. an accident. died on the spot. he knew what was death. he had seen their neighbour s dog die. he had seen him die.  it was all ok now.
but he dint know how to react to this. to react with emotion ? what emotion ? he dint understand emotion that well. he had seen on tv. women crying . the men sombre. consoling the women.
where were the people then ? did it mean it wasnt true ?
it was a blur after that.
the sun came up.
it was morning. there was a siren. people were coming in to the house.
his friends were there at his house. his brothers friends. they were older than him. they talked to him.
took him away from the commotion.
soon it was 10 am.
there were people saying his father had come.
he ran to the front of the house.
his father was lying there in the hall.
his mother was crying silently.
his class teacher had come. she hugged him.
he dint understand. his father was right there. then they were taking him somewhere.
he was now being referred to as "the body".
his father was picked up and put in the army truck.
he wanted to go. he was not allowed.
but he wanted to go. he dint know why or where.
he knew he had to run to the truck. his brother n mother were there.
they took him in.
they reached a place which was silent.
they took his father.
then they were going to push him into the furnace.
somebody covered his eyes. he pushed away and caught a last glimpse of his father.
his father was dead.
the furnace door was closed.
the struggle had begun....

actors....

actors...everytime i see award shows and famous big heroines perform an item number i see dirt...
the film industry...or the show business is a dirty affair...where women cannot get work unless they are ready to show their bellies and shake their behind for money thrown at them...yes.. it sounds harsh and unfair...it is hardwork...but at the end of it all...isnt that what it is...they get paid for their bodies...no wonder actresses have so many insecurities...no wonder they have to come in the limelight all the time because thats what makes them feel normal...unless someone looks at them weird or with lust...they are not at peace...yes they go back and complain...he did this and some crap...but they like...
ohh and the men...they are no different...they get abs and pump muscles..take supplements to do what...? so that they get to work with the latest heroine...get close with her...be shirtless with her...or pantless...or both....anyways not the point...
my point is that...these actors are up there displaying their "hard - earned " bodies so no one will care what they say...they say they have earned their money...hah..come live like us ...the common man...who works...who uses his mind to work...its sad that these stars get so much attention..and money...its sad that people want to be more like them...when ShahRukh Khan cracks cheap shitty insulting jokes its all ok...he shud be slapped for making little girls dance like that with him...a little girl made to slap a fully grown mans butt...its preposterous...and i see these stars clapping and laughing...at whos cost...